a letter to my angel on his birthday

Dear Gabriel Xavier,

Where has this year gone?  

I have tried so hard to slow down our days, and keep you as my sweet-smelling, tiny newborn baby.   I still dress you in soft pastel onesies, rock you to sleep, carry you in my front-pack and nurse you on demand.  I still haven't bought you a real toddler carseat and I literally swaddled you until you were 8-months old.  

But time does not stop for you.  You have grown in so many ways, and you continue to thrive each day.  You communicate with sign language.  Just two days ago, you even started walking.  Perhaps I am the one who needs just a few more days (or years) to catch up to you.

Your birthday, one-year to this day, will always be a celebration for me.  It was one of the most beautiful and special days I have experienced, and I will be forever grateful.  Many mothers recount labor and childbirth as painful, difficult and frightening, but all I remember from the day that we met was the miraculous joy, love, blessings and life that God poured out on us.  I held you immediately, and  at that moment I realized how well we already knew each other, from your nine-months in my womb.  I felt so much peace, as though we were being reunited.  I was completely in love.

From those first moments, you have been your mommy's little boy.  If you started to cry in the nurse or a family member's arms, you stopped immediately after they handed you to me.  You knew that you were home in my arms.  My prayer is that you always feel that way.  I pray that our bond only deepens, even as you begin to explore the world on your own.

My dearest Gabriel, I thank God for your angelic smile, your contagious giggles, your curious personality, your silly sense of humor and your love of games, food, and life.  I thank Him for your amazing temper, your fearlessness in trying new things, and the immense joy you have brought to our family.  You complete your father, brother and I in a way that we could have never imagined just one year ago.  I can only dream about the happiness we will experience together during your future milestones.

I love you with all of my heart Gabriel.  Happy First Birthday my Little Man!

Love,

Maman