Some days were harder than others in the NICU. A particularly emotional day for me was a Saturday at the end of August for which my baby girl shower had been scheduled. The invitations had gone out early in the summer, only to be cancelled. The teal maternity dress I had picked-out for the event was boxed up with the tags still on it. Instead of gathering with friends to show off my big round belly, I was sitting in the hospital alone, watching Celeste in her isolette. The two of us had been struggling a little that day. I tried to hold her but her monitors kept sounding off. The nurses suggested that I let her rest instead. It pained me enormously to feel so helpless about mothering my own baby.
I don't mean to constantly make all of my NICU stories tragic and dramatic, but the truth is that it was very HARD on me. A lot of darkness surrounded those days of separation. In my sorrow I held fast that my reunion with my baby would come, but it did not ease the heaviness of my heart.
Fast-forward to the beginning of October, about two-weeks after Celeste's homecoming. My sweet mother rescheduled the shower and we honored our little hero. It was a little different than the traditional baby shower; Celeste was present, albeit mostly hidden to avoid contact that could compromise her immune system. But despite all of these differences, many friends shared in our joy and helped us celebrate our little girl's life. We oooh-ed over all of the pink outfits and ate delicious treats. We chatted about sleep deprivation and swapped stories about newborns. It was a beautiful day and I am so very grateful to my mom for giving us the opportunity to smile and to CELEBRATE. I am also very grateful to God for the time I have been granted here on earth, to love and to cherish my little girl.
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